Prison Traumatic Stress Disorder
My next brush with violence comes inside Ironwood State Prison. This yard snitch startsto snitch on all the corrections officers who are bringing in contraband, and they all get put under investigation because of it.6 The institutional gang unit is pissed off, as they are having to investigate their correctional officer buddies, and they are all in on this shit making side money.
So the institutional gang unit drops their black book with all the information this guy is giving them inside a Southsider’s cell. As nobody can do anything without evidence, this yard snitch is now caught.
The next moves that are made really piss me off to this day. Instead of two or three lifers raising their hand to make an example out of this yard snitch who literally gave dozens of homies add charges (including a few with life sentences), they come to the three short term homies on the yard—one of those homies has three months before he goes home. The other one is a year away from going home, and I have four years left. They ask us for the favor. I get pissed inside, but I know that if I call them out on their weakness, they will turn on me and I will get shanked.
The yard opens up. They give us the green light.We go to where this yard snitch is working out. One homie runs up and starts to stab him and runs off as we rush in and start to smash this guy’s head in. He falls to the ground, and I start to kick his head. I jump on his head and blood starts to squirt everywhere. The correctional officers run up and start to spray us with pepper spray, but we continue to brutalize this guy. I fall on top of this guy, throwing punches full of hate—full of revenge for the homies this snitch set up. I am cuffed up and drenched in pepper spray and escorted off the yard. This is what my homies respected. This is what we looked up to. This is all “state-instituted violence.”
This is what my homies respected. This is what we looked up to. This is all “state-instituted violence.”
In my state-instituted violent mind, I thought he should have been killed, and any other gangster would agree. We also see how the state is causing this. I call it blood money. The state will never, ever take responsibility for this violence. The reality is that the district attorney and the Department of Corrections depend on getting so many in prison cases a year to get the tax dollars for their careers, and they will do whatever it takes to get paid. One of their biggest components is the use of confidential information, giving incarcerated yard snitches money, packages, and the freedom to do as they please to set up incarcerated people to get in-prison cases on the district attorney's desk. Whoever says otherwise and wants to challenge this, go look into my case. Go talk to the yard snitch in my case who was working for them, and it will be confirmed.7 The yard snitch ended up with a bunch of staples in his head and lost his hearing in his right ear. I ended up catching an in-prison charge.
I am in the segregated housing unit now.
I go to court in Blythe, and they give me two more years.
I am then shipped to Salinas Valley State Prison, a level 4 maximum security yard that I call the death octagon as so many incarcerated individuals are killed there. I experience being locked down all the time in this prison. The correctional officers feed us small portions, and they don't allow us to get store items, and so we are agitated and frustrated, which is a bad combination in a confined space. We would come out and go to the yard and there would be a gruesome bloody shanking, and we would be back on lockdown for another month or two. This goes on the whole time I am there.
I think I see maybe two weeks of yard in a year-long period.
The last yard I see in 2011, a brutal prison riot erupts. It is the Northern Mexicans and us Southsiders. This is a gruesome battle; one Northerner ends up dead, and then they ship a bunch of us Southsiders to New Folsom State Prison under this new realignment project that CDCR is doing to even out the racial populations across all 33 state prison facilities.8 I end up at New Folsom, which is a predominantly Black yard. I see what the state is up to. They need to instigate some more racial riots, as they are under a bunch of scrutiny. The federal government is telling California that they need to deal with their severe overcrowding and the health hazards it is causing.9
Once, a correctional officer has me and two other homies in the medical cages waiting for our medical, and this correctional officer says, “When are you all going to take that basketball court from the Bay Area blacks? You all look really weak pushed into that little area.” This is the normal seed planting operation that correctional officers would do to watch them grow and eventually explode into what they want: a brutal racial prison riot. In his history of the California Department of Corrections, Robert D. Weide (2020) shows the violence that these moves were intended to provoke:10
"[T]he State’s prison facilities grew from five in the early 1980s to over 30 by the mid-1990s, providing fertile ground for the expansion of prison gangs (Gilmore, 2007). As each new prison facility opened and inmates entered each new yard for the first time, a pitched battle was fought in each to determine which prison gang faction would take control of particular telephones, day rooms, benches, workout areas, handball courts, basketball courts, and facilities on the yard. My respondents unanimously report that South Siders, the foot soldiers of the Mexican Mafia, won virtually all of these battles and remain firmly in control of the preferred facilities in almost every prison throughout the State to the present day. Convicts who “earned their stripes” in those battles refer to these conflicts as “opening up” a prison. It should be obvious that by opening new facilities and dumping members of rival factions into new yards, prison administration and staff must have known that violence would result just as they did when they dumped early prison gang members into the O Wing yard at Soledad Prison back in 1970. As another of my respondents, a physically intimidating man even in his 50s proudly recounts, “I’ve been from Susanville to Jamestown to High Desert to Tehachapi to Corcoran to Folsom to I mean I been all over up and down. I just don’t go down South, I always go up North. Ha haha! They always send me to war! The administration says, “You wanna be a tough guy huh?” so I’m like, “OK where you gonna send me now?” I opened up High Desert, and when you open up a prison man its fuckin crazy man. It’s crazy . . . I mean you’re killing people because this is my handball court or this is my bench. You’re fighting for what area you’re gonna get. And that’s what I’m saying, we established High Desert, and still to this day it’s still like that. You know, there was a lot of bloodshed for that.”11
All of us incarcerated individuals know that it's a bloody experience opening up a yard. On December 7th, 2011—two months after I was transferred to open up this prison yard in New Folsom State Prison, a brutal prison riot erupts.12 I remember being released to the yard this day after a three day lockdown, as the Bloods and Crips had gotten into a huge fight on the yard, so they were placed on lockdown. We go to the yard with the Bay Area Blacks.13
It is a really calm day.
I walk around the yard with one of the homies, and a bird takes a shit on his shirt. I start clowning him and tell him it is bad luck for ten years. We walk over to the water fountain so he can wash his shirt, and it gets super quiet on the yard. We look up towards our workout area, and all the homies are gathering up at the top really quickly. My homie says, “Something is up, come on, let's get to our property.” We get up there, and the homie comes up to me, hands me a homemade knife, and says we are rushing the Blacks.14 We rush like army ants, full-speed yelling and screaming, and we start stabbing and punching any Bay Area Black in the way. It is a brutal battle that lasts for 10 minutes. The correctional officers start to fire the mini 14 semi automatic sniper rifles at us. Concrete chunks hit me in the face as the bullets whiz by my head. I almost get shot in the head twice. Luckily, the 4 block tower guard keeps missing us, even though he is trying to kill us. I remember the brutality during this riot; multiple people are being stabbed with anger and resentment. One guy is being stabbed and beaten as his pants are ripped off, and they start to stab him in his butt and he starts to poop all over everyone's shoes as they kick him. This left us all traumatized!
I can be seen in this Youtube newscast at 1:25, in which I am in the white tank top in the middle looking up at the helicopter.15 This incident really messed my head up. I experienced nightmares for two years. Still, to this day, I see everything happening. I can replay this incident back in my head. I made it back into my cell, and I have been trying to deal with this ever since.
I have so much Prison Traumatic Stress to overcome still to this day.
Around December, I find myself waking up with cold sweats, I have nightmares, and I indulge in drinking a lot. This incident has been one that I have not been able to shake off. I see these men looking at me with bloody faces, screaming at me, “Why?”
I see these men looking at me with bloody faces, screaming at me, “Why?”
We are on lockdown for almost a year after this incident. I remember it as a really high-tension time. We have our shoes on all the time. We fall asleep with our shoes on, which means that if the correctional officers want to play games and open up our doors, we are ready to fight until our death.
This riot happened at the same time that the Short Corridor Collective had begun its work calling for an end to all racial hostilities for the collective purpose of protesting prison conditions, particularly with respect to the culture and practices around solitary confinement.16 As peace was being established amongst all factions and the agreement to end all hostilities was being written up, this riot put a damper into that process. It was a senseless fight.
Still, to this day, we don't really know why we all fought and what the real reason was behind it all.